The start of the holiday season this year has been one that I hope never to repeat, but as life goes I’m sure there will similar days ahead. In July I wrote about our trip to Northern Indiana to visit my in-laws and our experiences as a dog family with their blind hound dog. During that trip my father-in-law told us he has prostate cancer and it had spread to his bones, so the end would be near. After learning he had cancer he decided against any treatment towards a cure and made the decision to instead live the best life he could for the time he had left. He made that decision five years ago, and looking back I now realize he was taking care of business to insure he was the best father and husband he could be for the duration of his life. He did not share his illness or his decision not to treat until July, so once the shock wore off we spent the last four months living as he was dying, grateful for the opportunity to say our extended goodbyes. He passed to the other side this week, bringing an end to the suffering that had become his existence. His Honey, the blind hound dog, was as much a part of the process as any family member. She seems to know that her very best friend won’t be with us again, and she shares our grief. After reading that New Scientist Magazine had reported that dogs were able to read emotions on our faces a few weeks back I found an article they published titled “Do Animals Have Emotions” (Copyright New Scientist Magazine, Reed Business Information:
http://www.newscientist.com/article/mg19426051.300-do-animals-have-emotions.html?full=true),
and I’d like to share with you one of the stories in the section about grief that tell the story of a mama chimp named Flo and her baby boy named Flint. I’d seen a special on TV about this family of chimps, narrated by the primatologist Jane Goodall. The mother chimp, Flo, is old when Flint is born and she is much gentler and lets him get away with much more than any of her other children, causing jealousy and frustration among his brothers and sisters. The special ends when the young chimpanzee Flint dies, apparently of grief, soon after his mother died of natural causes. “The last time I saw him alive, he was hollow-eyed, gaunt and utterly depressed, huddled in the vegetation close to where Flo had died,” Goodall recalls. Slowly Flint made his way to the spot where his mother’s body had lain. “There he stayed for several hours, sometimes staring and staring into the water. He struggled on a little further, then curled up – and never moved again.” I cried so hard when I saw that program that now any time my husband sees me crying over something on TV he asks if I’m watching the sad monkey show. The article not only speaks to grief but also empathy, spite, gratitude, love and awe. Being a scientific magazine they have a discussion at the end of the article in agreement and one in disagreement. You can disagree all you want but I know in my heart of hearts that all animals live with emotion driving their decisions, just as we do. In the past four months while living with dying at the forefront of our thoughts, we have existed with our combined pack of dogs on numerous occasions. Honey is blind, Happy Jack is epileptic and suffers grand mal seizures, Budward is losing the use of his back legs and struggles to walk, and Girlie Sue is now profoundly deaf. We are a band of misfits if ever there was one. Yet we come together as a family, treating each other with compassion, kindness and love. Together we are whole.
If you are thinking about adding a four legged friend to your family for Christmas, please visit a shelter to find your new family member. And remember, perfection is not a requirement. They will love you no matter what shortcomings you bring to the table and they will be faithful to you till the last beat of your heart. And who knows, with them leading the way maybe we’ll learn how to be worthy of such devotion.
